


fade into you

by wholesome_gay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Hogwarts Era, Hogwarts Seventh Year, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marijuana, POV Remus Lupin, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-02-23 14:30:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23813020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wholesome_gay/pseuds/wholesome_gay
Summary: Sirius has an unusual gift for Remus.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 145





	fade into you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sadgorl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadgorl/gifts).



Remus was not going home for the spring holiday. Last night was a full moon and he didn't feel up to traveling. Besides, he wanted to spend the time off studying for the upcoming NEWTs. James and Peter were going to their respective homes; Sirius, despite Remus's protests, was staying at Hogwarts.

"You sure you don't want us to stay?" James asked, shutting his trunk unceremoniously. "Padfoot might drive you mad. You don't know what it's like to be stuck with only his company for a whole week."

"Fuck off, James." Sirius threw a pillow at James and missed. "I'm a delight to be around."

"I'll be fine, James," Remus said from his bed. His joints ached, his muscles were sore, there was a large bruise on his side, and he was exhausted. "Sirius, you should go with him."

"Aw, Moony, stop trying to get rid of me. I'm going to help you study."

Peter rolled his eyes.

By "help you study," Remus was pretty sure that Sirius meant "distract you while you try to work for a better, if unlikely, future for yourself." It was less than ideal, but the real reason Remus didn't want Sirius to stay was because he felt guilty. Surely he'd have more fun with James than cooped up in the dormitory with Remus. But it was a lost cause - Sirius had already made up his mind.

"Alright, Padfoot, whatever you say."

Sirius grinned at him.

"Don't drink my firewhiskey," James warned, stuffing a pair of mismatched socks into his bag.

"Remus, please make sure Sirius doesn't put itching powder on my pillow," Peter sighed, tying his shoes.

Sirius said "I would never!" at the same time Remus said "You know I can't control him."

"You would," Peter told Sirius, grimacing, "and you can," he directed toward Remus.

* * *

As soon as James and Peter were gone, Sirius leaned up against Remus's bed with a mischievous smile and said, "I've got a present for you."

"Really." Remus wondered if he was about to become the victim of a prank that only Sirius found amusing.

"Don't look at me like that, Moony. I promise you'll like it!" Sirius was rummaging around in his trunk. Remus was not reassured. 

Sirius returned to Remus with a glass jar in his hand. It seemed to contain some sort of dried leaves. He presented it to Remus, looking immensely proud of himself.

"What is that?" 

"Skunk," Sirius announced, handing the jar to Remus and sitting on the side of the bed.

"What? Where did you get this?" Remus examined the green clumps.

"Dorcas Meadowes. And it wasn't cheap, so it better be good." 

"I'm shocked that you didn't try this with James first," Remus replied, opening the jar and smelling its contents. Lately, Sirius had been spending more time with Remus than James, a result of James being preoccupied with dating Lily. Still, this seemed like a classic Prongs and Padfoot activity. 

"I figured you'd appreciate it more," Sirius told him, producing a strangely-shaped glass pipe from his pocket. "It's supposed to help with pain," Sirius added.

"Oh." It always caught Remus off-guard when Sirius did something thoughtful. "Do you even know how to do this?"

"Yeah, it's simple." Sirius took out a mortar and pestle (used in the making of various nefarious potions) from the nightstand that sat between their two beds. He picked a few of the green clumps from the jar and ground them up, then filled the pipe. He offered it to Remus.

"You first, Pads."

Sirius shrugged, lifted the pipe to his mouth, and lit it with the tip of his wand. The smoke came out of his mouth in a violent coughing fit.

Remus couldn't help but laugh. "I don't think I've ever seen you look so uncool."

"Shut - up," Sirius said between coughs.

Remus handed Sirius his glass of water.

"Thanks," Sirius said when he'd downed the whole thing. He refilled it with a quick _aguamenti_. "Your turn. Let's see how-" he coughed again, "you do it."

Remus brought the pipe to his mouth, trying not to dwell on how Sirius's lips had been there only moments before. Sirius lit the pipe for him and Remus inhaled. It was harsh; it burned the back of his throat. He exhaled and coughed twice.

"Impressive," Sirius admitted. Sirius's fingers brushed Remus's as he took the pipe back. 

They each took a few more hits and drank a lot more water.

Sirius made Remus move over so that he could lie down on the bed next to him.

"How're you feeling?" Sirius asked.

Remus's thoughts were moving slowly and his limbs felt pleasantly heavy. "Er… good."

"Yeah. Me too. It's kind of like being drunk, but… different."

Remus laughed.

"What?!"

"Very eloquent, Padfoot."

"I'll show you eloquent." Sirius yanked up Remus's shirt and blew a raspberry into his stomach. 

Remus laughed so hard he almost fell out of the bed. It made his ribs ache where the bruise was. "You're mad," he gasped.

"You love it," Sirius teased.

Remus very much wanted Sirius's mouth to return to any part of his body. Oh, hell. This drug was preventing him from keeping his base desires in check.

"What're you thinking about?" Sirius tapped Remus's temple. 

"Erm… I've never felt so relaxed the day after a full." The pain in his body had been reduced to a dull, forgettable ache.

"That's good. But what are you _really_ thinking? You're such a closed book, and it's not fair because you always seem to know what I'm thinking before I even think it."

"I'm thinking that my throat is dry," Remus replied, reaching over Sirius for his glass. 

Sirius rolled over so that he was facing away from Remus, grumbling something incomprehensible. Remus decided it was best not to ask.

The sun was setting and the dormitory was awash in orange light and shadows. 

"Thanks for staying," Remus said quietly.

Sirius rolled onto his back. "Did you not want me to?"

"No, of course. Always appreciate your company." Remus patted Sirius's shoulder, then left his hand there because his arm was tired. Then, because the connection between his brain and mouth was not as strong as usual, he added, "But I thought you'd want to spend this week with James since he isn't glued to Lily's side like he has been for the past three months. I know I'm not a great replacement."

"Replacement? Moony, honestly, you can be so dense."

"Don't insult me in my own bed," Remus protested, not sure where this conversation was headed after the unintentional vulnerability on his part. 

"What would you like me to do to you in your own bed?" Sirius said into his ear. 

Remus stifled a laugh, hand over his mouth.

Sirius moved Remus's hand away from his mouth and kissed him. 

It was so surreal that for a moment, Remus wondered if he was hallucinating. But it seemed unlikely that his mind could conjure all these details - Sirius's fingers in his hair, his hand on Remus's hip, the taste of Sirius's mouth. It occurred to Remus that this was likely to end badly, but he was kissing Sirius back. 

Remus cupped Sirius's jaw with his hand. Sirius slid a hand under Remus's shirt, cold fingers gently tracing his oldest scar.

Remus pulled away. "This isn't a good idea." His body thought otherwise. Every place Sirius touched him was tingling. 

"Why not?" Sirius ran his thumb over Remus's bottom lip.

"You're going to regret this later," Remus said, wondering if it would be entirely unethical to obliviate Sirius. Their friendship wasn't likely to survive this otherwise. Especially not if they continued kissing and one thing led to another.

"No I won't." Sirius's eyes were red, but earnest. "I've wanted to do this for ages."

Remus felt like there were ten different trains of thought moving through his head on a collision course. "That seems unlikely."

Sirius sat up and took Remus's hands in his. "Remus. Moony. It doesn't have to be so hard."

Remus's heart was beating far too fast. He wanted very badly to believe Sirius. 

Sirius stared at him, looking as though Remus’s response would make or break him.

All at once, Remus remembered how tired he was. Between being awake all night and smoking quite a lot, there was no way he could think about this clearly right now. "Can we… can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Alright. Whatever you want." Sirius gave Remus a quick kiss on the forehead and then got beneath the blankets and snuggled up next to Remus.

Remus thought about asking him to leave, but that wasn't what either of them wanted. Surely this alone wouldn’t be their undoing. He put his arm around Sirius's waist and Sirius made a small, contented sound.

They would figure it out tomorrow. Remus closed his eyes and let himself feel safe in the warmth of Sirius’s presence.

**Author's Note:**

> happy belated 4/20
> 
> don't do drugs, kids


End file.
